February 29 Has More Dangers Than Realized

And here I was thinking it was the brandy and sodas that weakened resistance.

image borrowed from: http://neatocoolville.blogspot.com/

The Nature Of

I see that, that life comes once--and it's quite short--and you have to appreciate what's good in it....


Life goes all around, and there are millions of other living creatures who have to find their paths as well.

Neil, 49 Up
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The REAL Dilemma

I was on a run with a friend yesterday and something came up about lard. Pig fat. Friend (who is a purveyor of quality lard in her homemade tamales) sighed and said, "Pigs make me sad."

I briefly attempted to figure out the context but then asked her to clarify.
She said it made her sad that she likes pork products so much since pigs are such friendly, intelligent creatures.
Do you feel the same about cows? I ask.
Well, yes, she replies.
But what about fish?
Oh, I am totally fine eating fish! she says with enthusiasm, there's nothing cute about fish!
Uh, huh, I say.

So, I query, could we say that you are a 'cute-itarian' in your food choices?

I give us props for continuing to run in spite of breakdown giggling.

Yes, she cries, that's it! I am! I am a cute-itarian! Which is also why I won't watch the Sopranos anymore. There's nothing cute about any of those characters!

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It's Different Here and There

From The Times of India
The story is so nonchalant regarding the throat-slitting, which alone leaves me agog. Normal everyday occurance. Along with leaving an animal alive and bleeding for 15 hours before considering a re-do. "It's beginning to smell bad..."

Duck survives two slaughter bids
5 Feb 2008, 1532 hrs IST,PTI

KUALA LUMPUR: A Malaysian poultry farmer is baffled how his duck is still alive after its throat was slit twice. The incident has become the talk of Masjid Tanah in Malaysia's Alor Gajah district after 44-year-old Bahari Ali slit his duck's throat on Sunday morning but found it alive hours later. The farmer said though the duck's throat was almost severed, it was still alive. "Its throat had a large cut but the duck was still breathing," New Straits Times quoted him as saying. After observing the duck for 15 hours, Bahari reportedly sought the help of an imam to finish the job but the duck continued to live even after its second attempted slaughter. The daily quoted Bahari as saying that he had expected the duck to be dead by morning, but found it waddling around as usual. "It is beginning to smell bad and cannot be eaten because of the two cuts. But it is still doing what it normally does in its coop," he added.



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Random Unreasonableness

There are ways products work, and then the way I subconsciously think they work, that, regardless of the incorrectness, I can't get rid of. This morning in our company's breakroom, I found myself reacting to such a circumstance:

The microwave is blinking unfinished seconds because someone didn't clear it back to START after heating their Lean Cuisine. OH NO!!!! murmurs down a corridor in my brain.

Why? Because in my mind I see masses of gears locked together, waiting to be released at the 'beep, beep' of a finished cycle. I know there is some kind of internal, mechanical strain going on inside that will wear it down eventually or cause an internal explosion if left unattended.

Yes, please do remind me it is all electrical, remind me of all the practical reasons why I am being ridiculous. I will nod, I will smile faintly with chagrin, I will maintain a very good humor about it. I will hope and pray you do not ask me if I think the microwave might not also be in pain and discomfort in its state of unrest. If you are flabbergasted at my gear visualizations, you really don't want to know about my anthropomorphic tendencies. It will trouble you. It troubles me.



I should go to this site more often: http://www.secretlifeofmachines.com/
Which would then lead me here: http://www.rudimentsofwisdom.com/

And then I would know all.

My siblings and I used to snicker at my grandma for yelling at us to be careful with the tv, dishwasher, microwave, 8-track, etch-a-sketch, or we might 'blow the tubes'. Like the old-time radios. At least I know where I'm heading....

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Caffeinated Theology

An e-mail exchange a few months back, brought on by a late show and work the next day:

L
And on the eighth day God realized he had to get back to work. Yet he was still tired. So God said, Let there be coffee! And lo! There was coffee, and it was dark, and it was fragrant, and it was good. And God said, Let us make this a benefit to mankind as well, that they might be comforted and enlivened thusly. And it was so.

But the serpent was crafty and whispereth into mankind’s ear, Ye need not spend so much time preparing thy coffee, nor provide such costly beverages to thy people. And he sheweth unto them the vacuum seal and the freeze-dry packets. And he compareth the price points and the abundance that could be had thereof. And mankind placeth these products throughout a multitude of office break rooms. And lo, much of mankind was grieved and sometimes wroth: Especially when presented with the non-dairy creamer.

But God had compassion on the low estate of his creation. And he alloweth Stumptown and its divers offspring to thrive in various regions, giving hope and succor to those thirsting for more than the airpot could offer. And when it could be found, it was blessed and it was good.

T
And lo, Cain took the goodness that God hath given and drinking of God's abundance to excess was overcome by unholy jitters. Upon seeing his brother, Abel, free from the dark eye circles and grumpiness that oft accompanies deprivation of sleep and related caffeine drunkenness, he gave into his jealous rage. Taking unto his hand an espresso portafilter, Cain smote his brother until his well-rested soul had fled his body. Upon seeing his brother's lifeless visage, Cain's rage gave way to shame and fear and he made haste to bury Abel's body under a mound of used coffee grounds.

God, in his infinite goodness, questioned Cain as to his brother's whereabouts. Cain was helpless to hide his guilt and shame and led God to the mound of grounds where he had hidden Abel's body. God's wrath rained down upon Cain like unto cowboy coffee atop an unruly bonfire and God said unto Cain, "You hath taken the goodness of my roasters and done unspeakable evil with it! For this reason you shall henceforth be banished to wander all of your remaining days among the robusta brews of see-through coffee coffee-houses!"

L
“And if thou attemptest to improve the flavor of thy cup, thou shalt be repaid with syrups and sugars contained therein, to turn thy stomach and makest thee remember and repent of thy misuse of my good gifts.”

Epilogue
Lest one think that the serpent is seen no more, be warned, he has only taken a more devilish form:

While Westernized societies continue to wave aside the effects of too much coffee as simply physical reaction to excess consumption, a few brave, wise souls have done what they can to let the public know the true cause of this potential societal downfall. For more information regarding the devil known as Mr. Coffee Nerves, go here: http://www.lileks.com/comics/coffnerv/coff1/index.html

(Please note, while tone of the link is derogatory, the facts just may well be true.)